Girl World
September 21, 2007
Not too long ago, it was common for me to blog about all the frustrations I was having with high school drama. I was so excited to get the hell out of high school and move on with my life and away from the people who were causing me issues. In my rush to get far away from everything fake, I was eager to make new friends.
In a new place, far away from all my old friends, I thought I was doing well when I made friends with the four girls I have been hanging out with for the past week. They all seemed super nice and genuine. Since we are all in the Social Worker Program, it never even occurred to me that it could be a front they were putting up. I was sure that in order to be in this program, you have to have a strong sense of empathy and understanding. I was sure that everyone in the program was genuine. How very wrong was I.
For the first two weeks, everything went awesome. I played spoons in the cafateria with the huge group, mostly fronted by a girl who we shall call Regina. I suppose Regina calls the shots most of the time, deciding what we should do for the break. I generally go along with the crowd in new social situations, so I didn’t have a problem with it. Besides, I thought I would get along with her well, since she was found of sarcasm too. But my sarcasm is never used to spite someone, and I always know when to use it. Regina seemed to use her sarcasm to hurt people, although I was slightly blind to it at the time. I thought Regina was cool, but I was still wary of her so we didn’t really hang out a lot.
Things were going well until we started hanging out with another girl, who is a really loud, obnoxious some-what dumb person. If you think I’m really out there, you would think I’m completely shy and calm next to this girl.
I wasn’t really all that surprised when Regina flipped out on me on MSN. You see, in one of our classes we were supposed to be in a group, but since she had been treating me differently all week (by excluding me from things, for example) and since we had one more group member then allowed for the assignment, I found a new group. I didn’t want to be the dumbass left standing in the middle of the room without a group because they bailed on me. I figured it was more than likely to happen because Regina was being such a bitch to me. So she was mad about that, and said I should have given them notice before I decided to ditch them. She wouldn’t listen to my explanation - which was simply that I knew we were over the allowed number of group members so I left to avoid causing an argument over who had to leave. Nope. She just kept bitching at me (over MSN, I might add) about how it was completely rude on me and that she was pissed.
Than she says “can I tell you something….as a friend?” right after I think we’re cool (on account of me apologizing and her “forgiving” me). I said sure, why not, and expected her to spill a secret of some sort - because the last couple of days thats all people have been doing around me. But that wasn’t her intention. She told me that the group thought I was demanding and it was getting on their nerves. Truthfully, I was a little stunned. I am not demanding. I haven’t asked anything of them at all. Ever. I asked her to clarify what she means, and she gave me the following example:
“Instead of saying ‘do you want to come to the computer lab with me?’ you say ‘come to the computer lab with me.’ and we don’t appreicate it”.
Um. For one thing, I have never asked them to come to the computer lab with me in the entire 2 weeks I’ve known them. I haven’t even asked them to come to the bathroom with me, I’m a big girl…I go by myself. But apparently, I’m too demanding. So after she said that, I tried to get it out of her the names of who else found me annoying. She said it was mostly her who felt that way, and that I would have to talk to the other girls.
So I texted Gretchen to see if I got on her nerves. Gretchen is the girl who was recently at my apartment watching a movie with me and another girl (who doesn’t hate me). When we hung out that evening, she told me a lot of personal stuff, things you would only tell friends; not someone you didn’t like. So I thought we were becoming close. She stalled a bit in the first few texts, asking me why I would ask that…then asking me if I was ok. Then I told her I just wanted to know, and asked her to tell me if I was getting on her nerves.
She said: “it’s not that you’re getting on my nerves, I don’t know what it is I’m sorry it’s not that I don’t like you…” Um…ok. Contradicting much? I had to text her again asking her if she had a problem with me or not, and she replied; “Sorry I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” So I got even more pissed and texted her saying; “I would rather people be upfront and honest instead of pretending to be my friend when they really aren’t.”
This is something I just can’t not be pissed about. Ya I know, not everyone is going to like me, but these girls literally made up reasons to dislike me, considering as I’m not demanding at all. Not to mention, Regina told one of the other girls from that group (who remains neutral throughout this ’situation’) that the “age difference” freaked her out. I am 18, Regina is 21. Regina doesn’t act 21. I don’t act 18. Not to mention, Gretchen and that girl I mentioned briefly above (the rather dumb, very obnoxious girl who started hanging out with us more this week) are both 18. Actually, Gretchen is 17. So why doesn’t the age thing freak out Regina concerning those two? If anything, I am more mature then the both of them put together.
So that is what upsets me the most; the random, made up shit about me. I’m angry that I became “friends” with the Mean Girls of the program, and angrier still because there is no where I can go to escape them. They are friends with everyone else in the program; they show no dislike to anybody but me.
The funny thing is that I am supposed to be at a party at Regina’s house tonight. I came home early instead, after a day of not talking to any of them (even the neutral girl - because she’s always with them). They didn’t say anything to me, they didn’t even smile at me. It was as if they all felt relieved that I was no longer a burden shadowing their fun.
So now I am back to square one; I know nobody and have a total of two people to talk to who don’t hate me or find me annoying and demanding. I have decided I’m no longer attempting to form friendships with girls; since they all are back stabbing bitches. Instead, I’ll hang out with guys - if the group doesn’t discredit my reputation by telling everyone I am completely unbearable that is.
****In case you didn’t figure it out on your own, I nicknamed the two “ring leaders” of the “group” after the characters from Mean Girls. I figured with the current situation and how they have been acting, it was a good choice.
September 21st, 2007 at 11:26 pm
< ![CDATA[aw I'm sorry. Girls really can be dumb. I always had more guy friends than girl friends because so few are trustworthy]]>
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:18 am
< ![CDATA[Amanda; thats what I have decided I am going to do!! It’s difficult to make friends with girls because they are almost always catty - even if they say they don’t like drama and pretend to be nice for a while. Guys really don’t like drama.]]>
September 22nd, 2007 at 2:59 pm
< ![CDATA[you and gaby must be going to the same college. is this what i have to look forward to?]]>
September 22nd, 2007 at 3:00 pm
< ![CDATA[I've always gotten along with girls who get along with guys better...know what I mean?
You're there to learn - align yourself with the people you like and don't worry about those dumb bitches - their loss.
xoxo]]>
September 22nd, 2007 at 3:02 pm
< ![CDATA[I never encountered this during my shortlived stunt at college. In fact, I didn't really get this during high school. my head was always buried in a book. LOL. Are you going to a comm college or a university? If it's a university, I don't think you'd be having this problem.]]>
September 23rd, 2007 at 10:03 am
< ![CDATA[Draven; maybe you will get lucky and avoid people like that when you go to college…Gaby and I do not go to the same college though.
Karen; I know exactly what you mean. I tend to as well. Although both these girls claimed to get along better with guys…whatever though.
Celise; My head is usually burried in a book. I’m going to a college, but its not near my home. It’s apparently still the same at University though!]]>
September 23rd, 2007 at 2:40 pm
< ![CDATA[I did the same thing during the first two weeks at my new school. I felt so stupid afterwards, and the whole thing just messed me up. I couldn't even think about anything else, other then: "Why don't they like me?" "What am I going to do?". After that I realized that being out of the girl world was the way to go. I also realized I'm not as girly as I thought I was, and mean girls are annoying bitches that should die. Ok, sorry about that. But it's true, isn't it?
Your situation seems a lot more intense than mine, in my case I was only ignored, excluded, and out of place. But no mean girls conspiration.
Now I hang out with boys and girls, good girls and good boys. I feel like I fit in. Finally! And I didn't have to change who I am, and they even treat me better than my high school friends did. I'm loving it. LOL.
Hmm, maybe you'll find out that almost everyone else hates those mean girls. I hope things get better. Stay away from mean girls.
LOL, I thought the Regina and Gretchen names were a coincidence.]]>
September 23rd, 2007 at 3:20 pm
< ![CDATA[Gaby; I hope I find some cool people to hang out with as well!! I thought the Regina and Gretchen names were quite humorous.
It can really throw you off, a situation like this. Oh well, things will get better in time! I’m not so bitter about it anymore, its to the point where I don’t care and just find it amusing.]]>
September 24th, 2007 at 11:49 am
< ![CDATA[Wow, that's pretty fucking retarded. Send me these girls' names and addresses and I'll shit in a box and email it to them.]]>
September 24th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
< ![CDATA[Avitable; you are talented! Shitting in a box and emailing it to them!? Does it still have the over all stench effect that it would have if you mailed it to them?]]>
September 24th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
< ![CDATA[Hm.
Well, by "email", I meant "earth mail", of course. And that means mail right to their door on Earth.
Yeah, that's what I meant.]]>
September 24th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
< ![CDATA[Oh, I see! :P]]>
October 19th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
< ![CDATA[[...] are immature. I am wary of the “nice” girls in my class, because of my whole experience back in week 2 that almost seemed never ending. Hell, that bullshit hasn’t ended yet and it’s like 4 [...] ]]>
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:25 pm
[...] hopes were beginning to sink. I dreaded having other incounters like the ones with the people at my old college. Halfway through the orientation presentation, a girl walked in late. She saw me and sat beside me, [...]