One Last Thing

December 16, 2007

Well my pets, I wrote NSN a final message on facebook before I completely erase him from my mind, heart and soul;

Dear NSN,
I don’t understand why you have become this way, but know that none of it is my fault and I am far from the bad guy. I hope you are happy knowing now that your word is unfortunately shit, since you broke every last one of your promises to me. All of them. Including paying me back the money I spent when Ididn’t have it and you knew I had it but guilted me into it anyway.

You know what though? I am SO sick of fighting with you and trying to make you keep your word to me of paying me back in installments, since you had already broken so many promises and I did not want you to become that asshole of a guy that you said you never would. You’ve become it though. You have broken me down enough for the past six months, and I’m worn out.

So go ahead and victimize yourself and make all your friends hate me by telling twisted stories about how I wronged you, I don’t care. Youaren’t the person you once were and I have no desire of getting to know the now you. None whatsoever. I never have wanted to, I just wanted you to pay me back so I wouldn’t hate you forever. But I do now, because you are a horrible, unrecongizatble person who has ruined every fond memory I once had of you.

So keep the effing 400 dollars, the money you blinded me of, and I hope you realize just how much of a heartless dick you really are. After a year of supposedly loving someone you could care so less about theirwellbeing now? That’s REAL low NSN, real low. But I’ve had enough of asking why and I’ve accepted that you really are just an immature prick who is only concerned about himself. If you weren’t this way, you would still care enough to keep your final promise of paying me back - regardless of how our relationship went.

Don’t bother replying or sicking your little friends on me, just read this final message and let the words sink deep in…if you can do that. I had a hard time getting anything to sink into your thick skull, as you were so obsessed with yourself. But this is you now, and I hope you’re happy being “that guy”.

Have a wonderful life, you won’t be interuptting mine or stomping on me anymore.

Goodbye,
Sarcastica.

I think it was beautifully written, poetic even. I hope he reads it and realizes just how horrible of a person he is. No, I do not want him to reply to it or call me apologizing and offering to pay me back so he can clear his name, nope. I want him to keep the money and forever know that he didn’t pay me back, after all I did for him, after how much I was in love with him (and thought he was in love with me). I hope he keeps every penny and lives with that every single day. Everytime he dates, I hope he thinks of how he hurt me and knows that he is truly unworthy of having anybody love him. On that note, The End.

Now, I’ve been thinking just how good it is going to be for me when I move in with Karen. I will be four hours anyway from everybody I know here, and although it’s sad it’s a good thing at the same time. I have been on a very self-destructive path as of late, and I’m afraid I may of jepordized another one of my friendships by acting on my impulses. Now I will remove myself from the situation I have created and take a breather from being a wild college girl. I don’t want to date, and it’s unhealthy for me to have “special friends”. So I won’t.

I think Chisel and I are over, on account of he hasn’t spoken to me really since Thursday, save for a text message and brief MSN conversation on Friday. Clearly he doesn’t want to speak to me, and clearly I don’t want to speak to him. Unfortunately, I broke things off over text message and I couldn’t get a hold of him on the phone. I know, very high schoolish. Whatever though. It basically said since he wasn’t talking to me and since I am moving in two weeks, there really isn’t a point to continuing our relationship.

Anyways, I’m off to work now. Despite being in so much pain thanks to my no good legs. Sigh.

5 Responses to “One Last Thing”

1. Says:
   December 16th, 2007 at 5:23 pm

   < ![CDATA[he sucks. glad you are moving on.]]>

2. Says:
   December 16th, 2007 at 7:03 pm

   < ![CDATA[Letters like that are cathartic. You're starting fresh and putting all of that crap behind you. Go girl!]]>

3. Says:
   December 16th, 2007 at 11:56 pm

   < ![CDATA[Karen; he does suck, and I’m glad I’m moving on too!

   Miss Ann; Cheers to starting fresh!!!]]>

4. Says:
   December 17th, 2007 at 11:07 am

   < ![CDATA[Wait - I thought Karen lived in England? I'm confused.]]>

5. Says:
   December 17th, 2007 at 1:41 pm

   < ![CDATA[Avitable; it’s because you’re American, of course you’d be confused - LOL!]]>